| HELP ME OUT!! |
[30 May 2005|12:51pm] |
THESE QUESTIONS ARE FOR MY SENIOR THESIS. IF YOU COULD PLEASE ANSWER THEM ASAP I'D REALLY REALLY APPRECIATE IT!!!!
Thanks!!!
( Read more... )
|
|
| HEAR YE, HEAR YE! |
[30 Nov 2004|05:02pm] |
|
I've decided that all my entries from now on will be FRIENDS ONLY.
I already have:
Sanja
Kate
Tomm
Zoe
Katie
Zana!hehe
Emily
Zoe
Foust
Chris
Amee
COMMENT TO BE ADDED TO MY FRIENDS LIST IF YOUR NOT ALREADY...I MIGHT OR MIGHT NOT ADD YOU...WORD.
Oh yeah, can someone possible make my diary look very cool styles? Anyone?
|
|
| Ora pronobis... |
[24 Nov 2004|11:31am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 crappy |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Choir cd stuck in my head |
] |
It's days like this when I have one class and all were doing is eating food and watching a movie..
that I love. <3
So we're singing our Ave Maria quartet at Sheila's father's services on monday..i'm glad she asked us.
And the choir cd sounds pretty good. Want to buy one? Ignore all the other madrigals and buy one from meee.
And my stomach is imploding. Why? Lets ask it.
So stomach, why are you being a second letter of the alphabet today?
*no answer*
WELL then.
I'm excited for the extended weekend for no reason. My family doesn't really celebrate thanksgiving. I'm not happy about my dad coming home tomorrow and yelling at me about college stuff. Thankfully i'll get a brake on saturday and go Faloli to sing in the afternoon/evening. And maybe some people will chizill with me.
I want a hello kitty hoover (vacum cleaner)
|
|
| I'll make your MUM wanna LALA. fuck you. |
[23 Nov 2004|06:10pm] |
I want to shoot Ashley Simpson.
Hmm so yes, not a lots going on right now. Christmas is coming..I kind of like seeing the lights everywhere. I love pumpkin.
I need to go to a show. Anyone going to one in the San Fran area anytime soon? I need to find time to go.
If only I wasn't owned by my choir teacher for the next month. Hmmm.
I wish it would snow here.
|
|
| like London. |
[18 Nov 2004|09:05am] |
There is so much fog at my school, you can't see to the other end of the parking lot when your standing at the edge of it. It's not ugly black fog, but a smokey white fog.
It looks like a painting. And I love it.
Even though it is freezing cold. Somehow I know this, but i'm not cold.
|
|
| Wet from birth = sex album. lovelovelove |
[16 Nov 2004|11:35am] |
|
So my dads going to be gone for practicallysix weeks straight. He goes for 10 days, comsback for a day, goes again, comes back for a day and so on.
The choir performance season starts on the 20th man. So excited and anxious.
And I want to get the new Bright Eyes releases...and System of a Down is coming out with a new album..some say december, some say january...who knows?
I want In n' Out. Reading Foust's entry made me want some good greasy food.
Oh yeah, and my Acting teacher has had my Cal Arts recommendation thing for about 2 weeks and STILL hasn't done it. fuckit shittity bickety.
And thats all for now.
|
|
| no |
[11 Nov 2004|11:58am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 infuriated |
] |
Yeah.
If I was even a little bit more angry and or out of my mind with fustration and pain, my brain and blood would cascade out of my ears.
And the next fucking day, she is acting like nothing happened.I can.not.belive it.Despite her screaming at me like i'm some sort of dog and taking away my keys and cell phone,and deafening herself to my apology and explinations like the BITCH SHE IS. Despite me exploding at her last night and screaming names at her at the top of my lungs, (which I have never done) and screaming at her in her room what she should hear, that she makes me fucking miserable.. later walking past me when I was a sobbing wreck on the floor and not caring,not even looking twice and telling me that i'm selfish and two faced, she acts like yesterday never happened.
She takes me to get retakes for my senior portraits, talks all nicely to me in front of the woman at the counter, offers to buy me a starbucks, talks like the day is wonderfull and that i've forgiven her.
After that, no.
That was the most enraged I have been in a very long time. Standing in my kitchen, while SHE is in her bedroom, avoiding everything after shes pissed me off, not even caring...just standing there, shaking furiously, staring at the vast knife collection, feeling my skin crawl and my blood boiling through my veins and my pulse racing at a burning rate, my breath becoming short fast and painful,wishing that I could explode and not exist. Wishing that instead of throwing a tray at the sink as hard as I could, that I would throw myself into a dark hole, never to come out.
She knows i'm older now. She knows I'll say what I think and scream at her to make up for all the times shes screamed at me and dad because shes on edge.
I have felt sick all day. I want to rid my blood of the poison and anger thats polluting it. And she put it there. All of it.
|
|
| Prima Donna |
[07 Nov 2004|07:16pm] |
I've been listening to the original cast recording of The Phantom Of The Opera for the past two days. I bought it the other day, and i'm all the more obsessed with it.
I've been practicing my high range with this CD too. I was shocked to find out that I could hit almost all of the very high notes in the insane songs like Prima Donna, Phantom Of The Opera, Music Of The Night and Think Of Me. I love sitting in my room, singing along with the amazing British singers in my best operatic voice and imagining myself on a huge stage, and having my ears filled with the amazing sounds of a full orchestra and just being on stage singing my heart out for thousands of people.
Those people would love the music and would appreciate every note that I sing and every note played by the orchestra. And it would be amazing.
Aaand..
I slept for 13 hours last night. Why? I do not know. I was out like a light..And I would have slept more if my dad hadn't of woken me up.
And, I saw the movie SAW last night. It was so amazingly gory, twisted, sick and a TOTAL mind fuck..BUT IT WAS SUCH A GOOD MOVIE.
Yes..quite.
|
|
| theres no telling on a superstar |
[06 Nov 2004|11:44am] |
Well Fuck. I called Clarks this morning to ask if they want me to come in today, and Rick (the manager) tells me that they're actually closing down on the 14th. FUCK. Now, I have to go find a new job. And Christmas is coming up too. FUCKIT FUCKIT FUCKIT.
And apparently my mum knows people who gossip about me and my friends...someone told her about my friend who was pregnant, therefore she asked me about it. And apparently someone was gossiping to her about one of my past relationships and that I cheated on them or something. FUCK OFF. ITS NOT TRUE SO GET YOUR FACTS STRAIGHT.
Had a very awkward afternoon yesterday...Hung out with Evan, Jackie and Chris.. Jackie and Evan got in a fight..*sigh*
Then I hung out with Evan at LAYT, then we went and hung out with people at the Boardwalk.
I had a really disturbing dream. Very disturbing. I can't describe it in a Xanga entry because it wont make sense so if you really want to know you can ask me or something. Plus if I do write about it, people will think i'm mentally disturbed.
I have a free weekend...weird.
Ugh..drama drama drama.
|
|
|
[03 Nov 2004|11:40am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
angry |
] |
Bush was re elected. God damnit.
God.Dammit.I.Hate.Everything.
What.Has.Happened.To.This.Godforsaken.Country?
ARE PEOPLE SO GULLIBLE THAT THEY'LL ELECT AN APE IN A FANCY SUIT WHO WENT TO HARVARD WITH A C AVERAGE AND ALL HE DID WAS JOIN THE BIGGEST PARTY FERTERNITY ON CAMPUS, IS THE BIGGEST MORON ALIVE AND DOESN'T EVEN KNOW WHAT HE'S DOING WITH THE COUNTRY?!
Kerry's speech this morning was so sad. You could see in his face that he is so worried for the well being and sanity of America. He knows that Bush isn't right for the job, or to be in politics PERIOD.
SO WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE CONSERVATIVE HICK CHRISTIANS IN THE SOUTH WHO ARE SO NAIIVE AND STUPID? NO OFFENSE TO CHRISTIANS AT ALL, BUT PEOPLE THERE ARE SO CONSERVATIVE AND THEY DON'T KNOW ANY BETTER. SURE, BUSH APPEALS TO THEM, BUT SERIOUSLY, A POTATO COULD DO A BETTER JOB AS PRESIDENT.
IF YOU THINK HES EVEN CLOSE TO SMART, FUCK YOU.
I'm sorry. I'm just very angry. This ruined my dads birthday.
I'm moving. Preferably to Antarctica, or another planet.
|
|
| Mr.Joviel |
[31 Oct 2004|12:45am] |
| [ |
music |
| |
System of a down- X |
] |
I'm wide awake.
NocturnalGldfish: anything in your love department
comedytragedy9: nope
NocturnalGldfish: HAHAH
NocturnalGldfish: same here.
NocturnalGldfish: god we are lame
comedytragedy9: uh YEAH
NocturnalGldfish: we need men.
comedytragedy9: yes
NocturnalGldfish: like FIVE of them
NocturnalGldfish: all at once
comedytragedy9: uhhh yes
NocturnalGldfish: or we just need chocolate
NocturnalGldfish: and a nap
NocturnalGldfish: thats what i want
comedytragedy9: I have one man that i think would be equivilant to 5
comedytragedy9: *beam*
comedytragedy9: well hes not mine exactly
NocturnalGldfish: do you even HAVE him
comedytragedy9: ahaha chocolate and a nap
NocturnalGldfish: yea thats what i tohught
NocturnalGldfish: haha
comedytragedy9:
NocturnalGldfish: yea i have one too
NocturnalGldfish: but then again.....i don't
comedytragedy9: we are proven lame asses, once again
NocturnalGldfish: god i'm sick of this
comedytragedy9: i know this is bullshit
Olivia and I share the same...something.. I don't even know.
Sigh..
So yeah, when I visited the play rehersal today ( I gave becca a ride there) Chase talked to me while they were eating lunch outside and said he was going to visit my work and said I should have gone to a party last night with him, then when they went in the theater he walked by me and sat with this chick Molly..who happens to be really hot.
Oh. And the BIGGEST asshole on the FACE of the earth came into my work. No. Really. You don't understand. He yelled at Rick (the manager) AND Alex about his beer in a 30 second period each (the fucking keg was EMPTY and they had to REFILL IT, THAT TAKES TIME)and then didn't leave ME a tip after Rick refused to serve him anymore, so I had to serve the shithead. FUCKER.
James' party was ok..Lamey was there...god that guy seriously needs to just get laid or something..probably wont happen...and a little bit of the party was slightly awkward...yeah..I was trying to get a hold of someone to hang out with them..stupid Andrew, Corinne and Chase...all didn't pick up their cell phones.
I just realized that I still have my cat ears on.
And I think I am a male repellant. Or a Chase repellant. Which ever one. You pick.
And I hope Alex is feeling better.
|
|
| pouring rain.. |
[27 Oct 2004|09:06pm] |
=^. .^= Meow
Havn't felt like this in a while...Like your floating on a cloud when your around something or someone, and that you feel like everything you do is dumb and that you hope that the person is thinking what you hope their thinking when they smile at you or laugh with you when your acting like an idiot, or laugh at your jokes. That when they are staring at you their thinking "this person is different from the others."
I just hope it's not one of those things he does with everyone, every girl and god I just want to be special to someone for once...not someone who thought they cared but found out he didn't...someone who will easily fall out of love and get tired of me, not someone whose just trying to get something other than a good friend...but someone who will sit with me, who doesn't care about my faults and like me for the person that I am, even when I act like a complete douche bag. I'm such an obvious person. I mean, I said love you lots ( in a text message) and then blew him a kiss for god's sake..I make myself sick.
He did smile at me though when he was on stage..
I just hope I don't make you sick too. I hope that you will adapt to me and find out that I can be something more.And god, how much I care...I don't know why, but I just do. There's an attraction that I can't explain, that I imagine us sitting together watching a movie and laughing our heads off at it...sitting on my roof looking at the stars and the horizon, the laying down and looking just at the thick dark sky and talking about anything...then falling asleep wrapped in blankets and just being content.
I've felt this feeling before..but now its more nervous than before. Maybe it's because I hope that you don't see all the faults in me that I do. And there's a lot..We're so alike, I can clearly see it..I just wish I knew what you were thinking when you glanced at me when your supposed to be into the scene onstage.
You see, I can't explain why, but when i'm around you, I just want to tell you how funny you are and how I don't see faults in you..
GAAAAH...I hate my brain. Things like this make it rot like some really fresh apple..I feel like a fruit.
Why do I feel like a lovesick puppy?
|
|
| NEWSFLASH |
[25 Oct 2004|07:16pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 tired |
] |
Oh my god.
I got a fuzzy leopard print backpack....I'm so excited.
|
|
| Yes, well. |
[24 Oct 2004|07:34pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
tired |
] |
| [ |
music |
| |
Muse! |
] |
What I did this weekend: (Have fun reading. Ha.)
~FRIDAY:
-School (vomit vomit)
-Went to the football game with Evan and Emily. I still don't know who won.
-Slept over at Evan's house!! We were going to have a little partay (Evans parents were out of town) but Jackie couldn't sleep over and neither could Amee, so it was me and him for the night. NO YOU SICK BASTARDS NOTHING LIKE THAT HAPPENED...*smack* We made brownies and watched Edward Scissorhands and part of Birdcage..(the one movie that I always tell people I havn't seen, then its starting and I say OH YEAH I'VE SEEN THIS). Then we were dropping off to sleep,so went in E-VAHn's room and were being dumb..then we actually fell asleep around like..2:30? (LUCY, GET IN BED...oh god, Don't hurt me! lol) LOTS OF FUN YAY!
~SATURDAY:
-Woke up and saw Evan's... wonderfull morning face. HAHA. Well actually, I was the one whose hair was flying everywhere and looked like death. OH WELL. Joked around for an hour, then I had to leave to (I thought) go and let Rosie in and feed her.
-Left and drove home, 1/8th awake..got home and mum was there, starting to get sick. So I gave mum medicine, made her tea and had to wait for my dad to come home from a buissiness trip..which took 5 YEARS.
-At around 3 I went back to Evans...hung out with him and CHRIS!! Watched Invador Zim..FUNNY.
-Decided to go to Chillies and meet Jackie there and have good foods.
-Drove to Chillies with Evan and Chris, met Jackie, ate good food, flirted with the REALLY hot waiter..well actually I didn't flirt but chris said I was staring at him in amazement..which I WASNT! *blush* Had LOTS of funny times there.
- Then..oh god...after that we drove to the Busbarn Theater to see the LAYT production of "That's all Folks!" Chris is in it, and he had a call time of 5:30, and the show started at 7. (HAHAHAHAHHAA 7) OK. So during that time I came the closest i've come to peeing myself since 5 years ago.
Evan Jackie and I turned into Candy(Evan), Amber(Jackie), and Bubbles(me) who are transvestite whores. We called all the annoying people we knew (Except yael who we called because she would find it funny) being REALLY girly but manly, talking about estrogen pills, going to clubs and anything you can imagine. There was OMG EW and KISS KISS and YOUR ORA IS SO GRODY all over the place and I almost wet myself on multiple occasions. SERIOUSLY. IT WAS SO FUNNY. Thats probably some of the funniest shit i've made up on the spot. So great.
-Saw "That's all Folks!" Yelled at Chris to have my children, made noises with jackie, went backstage before the play and during intermission, and Kyle played a sexy panther in one scene and he sat on my lap. It was wonderfull.
Then I yelled out "seven!!" mulitple times during the play (inside joke from the dress rehersal of Hansel and Gretel).
- After the show the cast, Evan and Jackie and I went to The Boardwalk for food...THAT WAS SO FUNNY. Me, Jackie, Evan, Chris, Jenna, Kyle (for part of it) and Elanor all sat at a table calling the same people as Evan Jackie and I did being the transvestites and Fabio and other people from the "Kit Kat Bar" or other various transvestite or gay clubs...Almost peed again.
-Then I was late coming home because I waited with Madmoiselle Jackie and gave E-VAHN a ride home.
-SLEEEP!
~SUNDAY:
-WORK FROM 9-5. MADE $110 IN TIPS BITCHES. YEAH. And got $110 in my paycheck.
Now i'm being tired.
THE END.
|
|
| Go dogs! |
[21 Oct 2004|07:32pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 sick |
] |
My throat is officially dead. I'm not going to try and ressurect it, it can heal itself this time.
Bastard.
Im watching the "American Kennel Club Dog Show"...The best of the best man.
I hate the fact that they made a Garfield movie.
|
|
| I can't believe this. |
[20 Oct 2004|04:56pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 shocked |
] |
Oh my god.
My friend is pregnant...
Oh my god.
|
|
| take me now. oh baby. |
[20 Oct 2004|04:00pm] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
sick |
] |
( me and kate! )
Kate, might I say that we both look SO HOT in this picture?? God we should just go be in hustler or something.
And do you guys remember this??
( kent! )
No joke, I still do that at dances. All my friends do it.
Once again, if the previous entry didn't say it already, I miss you all. Seeing these pictures puts a smile on my face anytime.
|
|
| Just to let you know... |
[20 Oct 2004|11:27am] |
| [ |
mood |
| |
 nostalgic |
] |
Kate!!! MY GANGSTA FROM OAK-TOWN!! Even though I dont ever see you and we only get to talk online, you are one of the best people I have ever met, and I enjoyed every moment with you at CSSSA, I couldn't of asked to meet a cooler friend. I have the picutre of us on my school binder, and when people ask who you are, I always brag about how much fun I had with you at csssa and how cool you were. You are one of my best friend even though we hardly see eachother. Just because I know you, and I know that you miss me too.
And Sanja! My sassy legged Sanja!! Same with you you! I have a pictuee of you too, and I always tell people about you. You are also so so close to me because you are such a cool friend and person all around. I LOVE YOU.
I MISS YOU BOTH SO MUCH.
Emily!! DAMN B, I MISS YOU TOO. I miss singing Ass N' Titties with you, and having so much fun laughin it up with you. Call me soon, we must hang out!! WORD!
Foust and Zoe, I know you guys read this too, and even though I didn't chill with you guys as much..I miss you too. You guys are such gifted people with art and music, and you are really genuine people. I miss you.
Damn.
Other than that, i've been sick for like 4 days...i'm sort of recovered now..but I still feel poopy.
Have a good week. All of you. I mean it. Or my British rath will be felt in all parts of california. WhereEVER you all are...
hehe :-)
|
|
| go ahead and weep weep |
[15 Oct 2004|10:47pm] |
|
Don't be a douche-bag like Chase and Andrew...Answer your cell phone today!! *psychotic grin used in horribly corny advertisements, but mostly in toothpaste and dentist adverts*
Contrary to popular belief, cell phones are actually supposed to be used to get in touch with someone. According to a recent study conducted by technology students at the University of Your Face, cell phones are actually ment to be used when trying to reach someone...either to meet them, or to talk to them. Astonishingly, they are not just used for looking at, as many previous studies have indicated...their actual use is becoming more clear the the general public.
Blegh..I doubt im going to be ok for sunday. However, I did get to talk to ALEX (from MLDF) for a little while and that was brilliant...I havn't spoken to him in 500 years, so that was refreshing. He's a party animal.
Aaaaand yes. I think Yael is one happy turkey right now. And that Evan needs to get better..and that my dad ALWAYS falls asleep on the couch...and that Methusela is a weird name...
Beep Beep
go ahead and weep weep...
|
|
| navigation |
| [ |
viewing |
| |
most recent entries |
] |
| [ |
go |
| |
earlier |
] |
|
|
|
|
![[info]](http://l-stat.livejournal.com/img/userinfo.gif){kind=small}
starlitxtears's journal